An Exercise In Self Loathing

Daikatana

Patient has presented with odd symptoms. Patient constantly making references to magical swords and annoying bugs that mercilessly try to murder him. And some named John trying to make him his bitch over a decade later; whatever time frame we’re working with here. Will continue to interview patient.

So, since we last spoke has anything changed?

No. I can still see it, the mud, everywhere.

This mud, does it have a purpose?

It makes everything look terrible. You know, like a muddy mess.

Has the buzzing gotten worse?

It comes and goes, but when I see them they only fly at me in straight lines. It’s really not too bad if you catch them coming from a ways away.

You talked about getting lost, any updates on that?

Everything is so blocky, I don’t know where to head. Half the time I have trouble figuring out where the ground ends and the walls begin. At least the lights have more than one color.

Colored lighting? What’s that have to do with anything?

Everything. It’s one of the main reasons it was delayed after Quake II came out.

Quake?

All hail the lightning gun and watch for telefrags!

Okay. Make a note of ‘telefrag’. We found you wearing a metal suit when you were admitted, why?

Isn’t that was everyone wears in this dystopia?

I’m asking the questions. Can you tell me about your accused racism?

You call one guy Superfly Johnson and you get branded, I can’t help it if that’s his name.

Is it as bad as everyone says it is?

Not really. There is a playable game in here. Just not a very good one.

Can you think of anything worse?

Breed for the PC was an unfinished mess I regretted purchasing. Can I have more graham crackers?

Very well. Take your meds and we will continue tomorrow.

Patient is unstable. Recommend keeping in inpatient treatment. Not ready for outside world. Patient still complaining that the two Johns need to work together again and make a killer app for Oculus Rift